p.s. as in "pre-", not post-script. whatever :) i did this entry backward as that is the state of my brain right now. i wanted to include a couple of pictures from the day their birth mom came to the transition house. and a few random flying home pics too.
happy. exhausted. blessed. overwhelmed. awestruck. frazzled. thankful. exhausted. oh, wait. already used that one :)
if i could string together more than a few coherent sentences at one time, i could write a heckuva blog post. i've had a ridiculous amount of thoughts in my head and i keep putting off getting them on paper. but since we've been home five whole days, i want to capture at least part of them before they fade completely.
so i don't forget. one thing i love about adoption trips is knowing that you are really being prayed for. you are on your friends' prayer radar. and it is wonderful.
abe and lydia are doing really really well. compared to how i know it COULD be, i am blown away at how easy they are. i could be way wrong, but i think they just have easy personalities. lydia is goofy extraordinaire and beautiful. abraham is more subdued and wants to please. i am so thankful for their easy going ways on many levels, but right at this moment, my gratefulness is in large part due to my lack of energy, passion, excitement. holy moly. if they were high maintenance, i would have crashed and burned. jet lag has scored another victory with me. in july, it took a full week before i felt semi-normal (relatively speaking :) and i anticipate i've still got several days to go before any notion of hyperactivity comes from me. coffee is not even helping. that says alot.
but i have learned several things this week, in spite of being exhausted. i've learned that 8 kids is a big jump from 6. i'm not sure why certain increases in number of kids seem bigger than others, but it is true. and this was a big one for me. and i've learned that 8 is loud and chaotic (especially when there are three sets of virtual twins). sometimes, it is quiet and how i treasure those moments :) and i've seen myself be overly-stressed when we are in public. actually, church was incredibly sweet sunday morning and the soccer field is big enough that i don't feel frazzled. but...we went to the airport monday night to greet new kids (yay! nyah and jayce!) and i felt completely overwhelmed. i couldn't even truly enjoy myself because i was trying to keep track of everyone and make sure they weren't on the floor or running around like crazy people. abe and lydia have not been taught the difference between places you can be crazy and places where you shouldn't. and you can't really talk with them beforehand because they have no idea what you're saying. like the majority of parents, i hope my kids act well in public....but the more kids you have, the higher the likelihood that that is not going to happen. or is it? maybe i will think differently in a couple of months. the irony for me is this: my mom was always super concerned about appearing 'good' in public. and it made me sad because she missed enjoying kids because of this. she had so many wonderful qualities that i am incredibly glad she passed along, but this is not one of them. and i think i may have it too. when you adopt kids who don't look like you, you stand out automatically. i want people to think favorably of adoption. and then i think.....and you want them to think favorably of you. ouch. this is really something the Lord has pointed out to me and i have to trust He will faithfully remind me to please Him, not others and to understand i am training these little people and not trying to win a parent award in the eyes of others :)
my wise sister told me once 'don't take credit for the good they do; otherwise, you also have to take credit for the bad.' yip.
anywho.... overall, things are better than i would have expected at this stage. everyone is getting along pretty good. abigail's 13th birthday was tuesday so we stayed at the super 8 to swim and have fun; the next night, nobody had gotten enough sleep and there were some ugly mouths and tears (and it wasn't me! yay!) but i think it was due to fatigue and not necessarily adoption woes. but i do know that we are in a massive state of transition. i would be kidding myself to say our family is not going through a huge change. because we are. and it is exactly what we wanted. until you are in the throes of it, you forget each time just how upside-down things are for awhile. a new normal will fall into place eventually :) in the meantime, i need to chill. and sleep. and trust. and be thankful for eight healthy kids all under this roof tonight.